Sins of the Flesh
by AshInScribbleLand
Summary: An artifact is affecting Myka in a very unusual way. F/F
1. Chapter 1

_Title: _Sins of the Flesh

_Word count:_ 2,092

_Pairing: _Myka/H.G.

_Warnings:_ Major Femslashage going on. If you don't like …. You know how it goes. For the

rest of you: it's not forced, but it's definitely not by their own doing.

_A/N:_ So, I tried to work some plot in here, but who are we kidding? It's a glorified excuse to

write lots of smutty *I hope* goodness. This was originally going to be a one shot, but

majorly got the better of me. So, if the breaks seem a bit forced I apologize.

XXXXXX

"Uh, guys?" Claudia said, walking into Myka's room carrying her laptop, "I think I know what's wrong with her." She visibly gulped and sat down on the floor cross-legged. "Okay, so we may have a bit of a problem." She shot the room an apologetic look and continued, "First, you'll be kind of happy to know we were wrong, she's not in pain."

"What do you mean she's not in pain?" Pete interrupted, gesturing towards the bed. "Look at her. If that's not pain, what the hell do you call it?" He hadn't meant to snap, but it was obvious that something was definitely wrong with his partner. She hadn't come down that morning for breakfast and when he'd come to check on her, he had found her lying in bed moaning. She had been tossing and turning ever since, unable to focus on anything, and barely able to string together more than a few words.

Helena bit her lip, not certain how she felt about what Claudia would say next. She brushed a piece of stray hair away from Myka's face and heard the frustrated moan that followed. There were things she was sure she was seeing that the others were overlooking. Whether it was ignorance or the fact that they didn't want to consider it a possibility, she wasn't sure.

The first thing she had noticed about Myka's predicament was that her eyes were practically black with relentless desire. Her normally enchanting playfulness was gone, instead was a woman drowning in her own emotions. Myka was conscious, bit it was obvious that she was having a very hard time staying alert.

"Well," Claudia said, trying to decide how best to word it. "I haven't quite narrowed down what it was specifically that she touched, I mean Myka's always so careful, but we were unpacking artifacts that belonged to a group of Roman Nobles. Myka was asking me about one particular piece. I think it might have something to do with," she waved in Myka's direction as she spoke, "this. It was a small container, like what they used to keep opium in." She hesitated, not really wanting to go into elaborate detail on the rest.

"Opium?" Pete asked, grinning. "Go Mykes. I always knew there was a wild child lurking in there." He grinned over at his partner, totally avoiding how serious the situation was. Pete was not completely unphased by the situation, but giving into the panic would help no one. So instead, he joked and deflected, dealing the best he could.

"Yeah, it was commonly used as ancient painkillers, but I'm pretty sure it had its recreational uses. I mean if this is the artifact, I don't think the painkiller bit is what's working on Myka. Recreational drug use is, minus the whole danger and bad for you part, all about letting go of your inhibitions, giving into your true desires. All that kind of fascination and curiosity mixed up with some good ol' artifacty magic and I think this is it. So, there's just the small problem. From what I can tell neutralizing it isn't going to be enough. Everything we dealt with yesterday is already in the clear, so if that were the case she'd be better."

"Claudia," Artie said, drawing out her name in a creepy way that she was sure meant if she did not get to the point, she would be in worse shape than Myka. "If neutralizing it isn't enough, what do we need to do? What is wrong with her?"

The deadly glare from Artie was all she needed to blurt out, "It's not pain, it's…. a, um, a heightened state of arousal. She's basically being put up against facing whatever it is she normally represses." She nodded confidently giving them a a moment to process. From the shock on their faces they needed it. Well everyone seemed shocked except Helena. Somehow, that didn't surprise Claudia. She had noticed that Helena constantly watched over Myka, much like a protective lioness watching her cubs.

Pete looked at Claudia for a moment trying to figure out if she was messing with them. Looking back to Myka, his eyes widened. Flipping his gaze between the tangency and the explanation his brain went into overload. "Whoa," he said, grinning at the thought of Myka in heat.

"Dude, there's more," Claudia growled, trying to stay focused on the information they needed. "I'm not positive, but from what I can tell, basically the artifact gets you all worked up and if that's not taken care of the intensity just keeps building until you pretty much go bonkers. I don't know why this artifact seems to be only tapping into sexual desires, but I'm guessing the situation that stirred up this things go-go-gadgety power would explain more."

Helena's glance shot up from Myka to Claudia, "How do we fix it?" The idea of Myka being in that kind of agony didn't settle with her. She knew all about fighting emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. Be it grief or passion it did not matter. Myka was fighting a battle that would, exactly as Claudia predicted, eventually overwhelm her.

"Well, the person affected, needs to experience and come to terms with their deepest desires," Claudia said, taking refuge in the facts. She wasn't a total prude about sex and usually didn't have an issue talking about it. But this, _this_ was like sitting down with your parents for the talk. She heard Pete make a strangled noise and rolled her eyes. Having the talk with your annoying pervy brother there to crack jokes, she mentally amended.

"Her deepest desires?" Pete asked, smirking as he glanced at the writhing woman. On most days, if someone asked him, he would say that Myka was like a sister to him. However, he was a red-blooded-American-male and his mind was reeling with the possibilities of what Myka's fantasies involved.

"Pete," Helena snapped, "I know you really can't help it, having the attention of a hormonal teenage boy, but you did hear the rest of that right? If we don't take care of this we could lose her." She knew the whole thing was a bit unnerving. She would be lying to herself if she didn't admit that the erotic noises slipping past Myka's lips every few minutes weren't affecting her. That didn't mean that they had time to focus on anything other than reversing this somehow.

Claudia nodded silently. She glanced at Myka and could see the looks of anguish washing over her features. The woman was conscious, but was too distracted to be paying much attention to them.

"Alright, you're right. I'm sorry," Pete said, smoldering out any thoughts he had been close to breaching. This was Myka his partner and friend. "So, if she just needs to live out one of her fantasies can't she take care of this herself? You know just imagine it?"

Claudia shook her head, "If it were that easy I'm pretty sure she would have taken care of it herself by now." She bit her lip nervously and watched Artie pacing looking like he was going to explode. This was not a comfortable situation for any of them to be in.

"Alright, well someone's going to have to take care of this," Artie finally growled. Artie prided himself on handling the most challenging of situations with little panic and lots of action. This time, things were different. Pacing the room nervously, he couldn't even seem to find a starting point. The words had stumbled through his lips, but he wasn't quite sure what to make of them. Obviously, this was not something Myka could conquer on her own.

Helena cleared her throat and lifted her eyes to meet his, "I know you don't trust me, but I think I should." Before he could protest, she held up a hand, "I'm only thinking of Myka. I think it would be less humiliating for her. Claudia can stay if it helps ease your mind, make sure I'm not taking advantage. It's no secret that I've had many lovers and I'm in a better position to help her without getting distracted by my own needs."

Artie stopped to consider what she was saying, not just saying, pleading. Helena was pleading with him to let her save Myka. He looked from one woman to the other and knew that as much as he didn't like it, what she was saying was making sense.

"I just want to help Artie, the faster we can get started and get through this the faster things can start going back to normal. Besides, you all are her family. If she is going to feel violated by _anyone_, it should not be the people she trusts. You all are Myka's life; I will not risk ruining that. "She lowered her head, knowing that what she said was true. Myka had believed in her far more than any of the rest of them did, but their bond was hardly the same as what Myka shared with the others.

Artie finally nodded, "Fine. I don't like it, but you have several valid points. Claudia," he said sternly pointing to her, "You make sure things are necessary. Don't let her ... Well you know. Just what's necessary to get this nightmare over with, okay?" Claudia's face was beat red, but she nodded knowing there was no way Artie would leave Helena alone with a vulnerable Myka.

"You're wrong though, she does trust you. I don't know why, but she does. Don't betray that," Artie said, then quickly left the room. Pete gave the girls an encouraging nod and then followed behind him.

Helena studied Myka for a moment as the others left. "I'm sorry Myka, but if you're going to hate anyone it shouldn't be them," She squeezed the woman's hand and Myka looked over to her and locked eyes. "Please," she whimpered with need. Helena nodded, understanding that Myka was in a desperate state.

"Okay Claudia, I need your help." At the panicked look on the girls face, she smiled reassuringly. "Nothing like that darling, I need you to check and see if Myka has, um, anything that you would use to," her voice lingered off and Claudia's eyes lit up. "Yup on it," she said, knowing exactly what she was looking for.

Helena started to get up only to be stopped, as Myka clutched onto her arm. Looking down she could see the struggle in her friend's eyes. There was something Myka wanted to tell her. "Tell me. I'm not here to judge Myka," she promised, softly. She cupped the woman's cheek encouragingly.

Myka nodded, biting her bottom lip painfully. "Right side, under the mattress," Myka explained, nuzzling softly against Helena's hands. She could see the distress in Helena's eyes and somehow needed to get across that she trusted her.

Gently pulling away, Helena moved to the opposite side of the bed and slid her hand in the crevice between mattress and box spring. "Got it, Claudia," she called, as she pulled not one, but two small contraptions from their hiding spot. She couldn't resist the playful smirk that crossed her features or the arched eyebrow aimed in Myka's direction.

Myka had definitely surprised her, but the look on the younger woman's face was more than enough to snap her back to the moment at hand. Now was not the time to tease or linger on this unexpected tidbit of information. Helena had a good idea of what she was holding, but she wanted to be certain. She shot Claudia a questioning glance to be sure.

The younger woman's hands shoved into her back pockets and she rocked on her heals. "Right, okay umm...external….internal…." she said sheepishly, pointing to each of the toys in turn.

She had been as surprised as H.G. that Myka not only had toys but that there was two of them. They weren't anything crazy or extreme, just the basics. The red vibrator was only about six inches long and the other just looked like any generic clit stimulator. Suddenly it dawned on Claudia that she was analyzing her friend's sex toys. Clearing her throat, she nervously shuffled wishing she were anywhere else.

Helena looked down at the tools in her hands and realized she was trembling. Silently cursing herself, she tried not to think about how desperately she wished these were very different circumstances. "God help me," she murmured, her fingers covering her mouth briefly. She had to get a grip.

A/N: And that's Chapter 1! Hope you all enjoyed. I know it needs work but, ugh. Please, please, please feel free to shoot me any feedback. I accept all kinds good or bad. Karma Cookies to any that do. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

******Title:** Sins of the Flesh 2/?  
******Fandom:** Warehouse 13  
******Wordcount: **1779  
******Rating:** M/NC17  
******Pairing(s):** Myka/H.G.  
******Warning(s):** Major Femslashage going on. If you don't like …. You know how it goes. For the rest of you: it's not forced, but it's definitely not by their own doing.  
******Notes:** big thanks to Aynot reading through this multiple times, even though i'd only change like three words at a time :) Also, I wanted to point out that I don't have anything against Leena. For me, she just seemed a bit awkward to have in this situation. I forgot to put anything in Chapter 1 about her, so let's just pretend Leena went away on a long journey...fishing... yeah that's it (cookies if you get it)

Since they'd begun to work together, Helena had not allowed herself the luxury of giving into the fantasies that Myka's presence so often inspired. Still, out of all the scenarios she could think of to explore the slim possibility of being with Myka, this was not one she would ever choose. Surely, this would ruin any chance she might have had at winning over Myka's affections.

Helena was sure she'd be lucky if Myka could still be able to look at her, let alone want to, once they were finished. Everything between them would change. Saving Myka, however, was the key. She knew it was something she would do at any cost; even it meant losing her friend. Myka would be all right and that was all that truly mattered.

Shaking all unnecessary thoughts from her head, she switched her focus to the details of the situation. Once again, all business, Helena rushed to form a plan and spurred into action. "Alright," she said, looking at Claudia then back to Myka. She knew that the sooner they got this started the sooner it would be over for the struggling woman. Still, Helena couldn't bring herself to go about this casually. She needed to make sure Myka understood.

Cupping Myka's face in her hands, she waited until eye contact was solid before continuing. "Myka, do you understand what's going on? About the artifact, what we need to do?" She hadn't expected much of a response, but the serious nod she received had her breathing an excited sigh of relief. "I'm going to fix this," she promised, not able to hide the loving determination in her voice.

Helena could see the anxiety in Myka's eyes and understood. "Claudia's going to stay too. It was the only way Artie would let me help. I figured you'd rather it be Claudia than him or Pete." Myka closed her eyes and nodded, fighting back the overwhelming emotions. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was the best they had.

"I'll try to work quickly, Myka," she assured, knowing how mortifying the situation must be. Myka clung to control. It was one of the things that kept her balanced and at peace. Helena knew having that taken away from her must be terrifying. "I know it's awkward; -as little humiliation as possible okay?"

Myka shyly smiled, seeing the sincerity in her friend's eyes. "Thank you-" she whispered. Closing her eyes, she took a steadying breath, then nodded that she was ready. She couldn't quite explain it, but Helena's presence alone seemed to have a subtle calming effect. She didn't want to consider what that might mean. Knowing what was about to happen had her nervous enough as it was.

Claudia took this as her cue to step aside and headed towards the chair Myka had near the window. Artie had told her to make sure Helena didn't take advantage of the situation. He never said she had to watch all up close and personal like. They were both beautiful woman and under other circumstances, she might have felt the urge to sneak a few looks, but this was different. Myka was in trouble.

She knew Helena had been being genuine. She would never hurt Myka, especially like this. Besides, Helena was too cocky to take advantage of Myka. If she was going to have her, Helena would want it to be Myka's own choice. A gasping moan filled the room and Claudia pulled her MP3 player out of her pocket. Slipping the buds into her ears, she disappeared behind closed eyes and surrounded herself with music.

Myka had long ago kicked her covers off and was lying on the bed in an oversized t-shirt and boxer shorts. Leaving her that way would end up being more revealing than necessary or appropriate, Helena thought. "I'm just going to cover you up some," she murmured straightening the covers and spreading them back across the bed along Myka's waist.

There was no longer any reason to put off the inevitable. Slipping into the bed beside Myka, she placed the two toys on her free side for later. "Just try and relax Myka," Helena urged, as she coaxed her onto her side facing away from her. She slipped her left arm beneath Myka's neck and hugged her closer. Drawing gentle circles along the woman's midriff, her voice broke, "I won't hurt you."

Myka could feel her body light on fire at the innocent contact. Helena's presence brought about a warmth that started in her belly and spread along every inch of skin that was pressed against her. She realized that as terrified as she was of what was to happen, she had complete trust that Helena would protect her.

Helena tried to steady her breathing. She could feel Myka relaxing in her arms but didn't understand why. This was wrong on so many levels it didn't matter if it was necessary. Even being the necessary evil that it was gave it little excuse to violate something so sacred.

Letting her hand wander, she brushed a trail of fire from Myka's stomach to her waist, down her thigh, and back up along the curve of her ass. She could feel Myka arching into her touch and bit back the moan that longed to escape. Only what is necessary, she reminded herself. She would not abuse Myka's trust.

A low moan escaped Myka's lips and she shivered in delight. Helena had begun to drag her nails slowly up and down her thigh, pushing the soft cotton up further along her skin. Forgetting that this wasn't real, she tilted her head to the side searching for the Helena's lips.

Mistaking the affection for apprehension, Helena leaned closer to the woman's ear and breathily moaned, "You're safe, darling." She kissed the spot just behind Myka's ear and let her tongue wander along the flesh beneath her lips. "You don't have to be strong," she murmured. She had promised herself that she would keep physical affection to a minimum, but if she was going to tap into Myka's own desires, she couldn't stay completely platonic.

Myka's breath caught and she gasped at the knowing tone in Helena's voice, as she continued. "I know you darling, better than you know yourself. All those years, trying to please everyone, doing everything you could to win their love. Yet, it was never enough, was it? " She pressed her lips to Myka's shoulder, as if healing a wound much deeper than either of them could see. Letting her hand slide into the waistbands of both Myka's shorts and underwear she began to pull them down. "Let me love you, Myka. I can show you."

Myka nodded, knowing that Helena wasn't literally looking for permission. It didn't matter. She would willingly hand herself over to the other woman, without a second thought, artifact. "Need you," Myka whimpered, arching her body against Helena's. Words flashed in her mind in an attempt to process all the sensations: _need, lust, want, desire…_

Helena had worked Myka's clothes down to about mid-thigh before letting her hands trail over the creamy flesh. She groaned into Myka's ear, letting herself indulge in the pleasure. "Poor, poor, Myka," she teased. "Trying so hard to fit in and be normal, but really just needing to be accepted and love." Helena made soft tutting noises before continuing, "But you're not normal are you darling? You never could quite get it right." She slipped her hand between Myka's thighs gently prying them apart.

Myka wasn't sure if she wanted to clamp her legs shut or open herself fully to the mysterious woman behind her. Her words were not meant to be cruel, but the reality was still harsh. Myka had never belonged, anywhere. The Warehouse had been the first place she'd come even close to feeling as if she could adapt. Still, Helena was right; it wasn't enough. Something inside her still felt broken.

"I see it in your eyes, every time you look at me. You vie so hard for my approval, but at the same time, you hate yourself for needing it. Despite your adorable little act at toughness, what you truly crave is someone else to take control, someone to take you to all those places in the back of your mind that you can't bear to face alone." She could feel Myka still at the truth. The younger woman seemed to be internally debating with her own demons and after only a moment her body relaxed and she gave in to Helena's touch.

"Good girl," Helena cooed, as she felt Myka's muscles give way and her legs slide smoothly apart. "I can make it better," she promised, draping Myka's leg back over her own raised knee. Reaching behind herself, Helena grabbed the vibrator and began to teasingly slide it across Myka's stomach, down one thigh, and back up the other.

"Don't tease," Myka growled, needing to feel more. Helena's words had brought back the desperate emptiness tenfold and all she could think about was being filled with that voice, those fingers, everything that was Helena G. Wells. It was almost enough to forget that none of this was real. Helena cared about her enough to help, but it was obvious that she was struggling to go through with it.

Helena spent the next several minutes sliding the vibrator everywhere except exactly where Myka most needed it. "I don't think you're in any position to be making demands, darling," she smirked, nuzzling along Myka's shoulder and neck.

Myka grabbed a hold of her wrist and tried to pull it to exactly where she needed it. "Please, Helena," she pleaded, "I need this. I," she hesitated, groaning in frustration, "I need you." She turned her head towards Helena and the other woman could see the tears threatening to spill.

"Okay Myka, okay…" she whispered, the rest of the sentiment catching in her throat. She dragged the tip of the vibrator slowly through Myka's wetness and they both groaned. Myka had said she needed her and Helena decided that in that moment she would let herself believe.

Dropping her forehead to Myka's neck, she reached up and pulled the baggy shirt down exposing her shoulder and neck. Pressing soft kisses against the gently freckled skin, she tried to regain her grasp on the situation. "Are you ready?" she asked, with a confidence she wasn't all too sure she had. She teased the head against Myka's opening and laughed in amusement, as Myka fought to form words.

Unable to say anything except the chortled sounds that continued to make her feel like a blubbering idiot, Myka nodded eagerly.


	3. Chapter 3

******Title:** Sins of the Flesh 3/?  
******Fandom:** Warehouse 13  
******Wordcount:** 2696  
******Rating:** M/NC17  
******Characters:** Artie, Claudia, H.G., Myka, Pete  
******Pairing(s):** Myka/H.G.  
******Beta(s):** Big thanks to the feedback and help of **magicmumu, aynot, **and** fitful_fire!**

XXXXXX

Helena was a gorgeous woman. Yet, for Myka it had always been more than that. She was witty and clever, intelligent and had a zest for life. When she appreciated things it was whole-heartedly and when she came across things she didn't Helena did everything she could to change them. Myka was drawn to her in every way.

She was excited and terrified that Helena had been the one picked to help her. She could for once understand what it felt like to be the recipient of her affections. However, she didn't want to think about what might happen if the other woman discovered her true affections. Surely, things would never be the same.

She could feel Helena hesitating and tried to search the woman's eyes for a reason why. Unable to understand the woman's thoughts, she assumed the worst. Helena, of course, was being forced into this out of desperation. She had been the best choice and felt it was her duty to help. That didn't mean that she wanted to be the one.

"Relax Myka," Helena urged, seeing the distress in her friend's gaze. "I don't want to hurt you, love," she whispered, letting the endearment slip from her lips before she could stop it.

Myka grabbed Helena's free arm and pulled it around her tighter. She smiled when she felt Helena hug her back. The moment Helena felt Myka relax she began to slide the toy in at a teasingly slow pace. Myka gasped for breath, as she tried to adjust to the sensations. Clinging to Helena's arm, she began to beg softly for what she wasn't even sure.

"Shhh, Darling," Helena cooed. "It's alright, Myka. I'm going to take care of it….take care of you." Once she had the vibrator fully inside, she turned the head just a bit. The buzz was slow, but steady and she felt Myka shiver at the sensation.

Myka lost all control of her hips, as they began to rock in a rhythm that matched Helena's. She could feel the older woman dragging the toy almost completely out and then sliding it slowly back in. There was no rush or urgency to it, just the same slow movements that were driving her wild. She continued to make soft noises, pleading her cause where words failed her.

Helena leaned closer and kissed her temple softly. "Close your eyes Myka," she murmured, against curly locks. She was surprised when Myka adamantly shook her head. "Myka," she tried again, drawing out her name. Myka took a breath and her eyes fluttered shut. "Good girl," she urged.

Myka shivered slightly at the loss of the sense, but tried not to panic. She trusted Helena, there was no doubt in her mind Still, the inability to see left her feeling unhinged. Perhaps that was the point. Her senses were heightened enough to begin with, but with her eyes shut, everything felt more intense. She could feel Helena's breath soft against her neck, Helena's arm around her leaving a spreading warmth along her skin, and Helena's fingers ghosting near the flesh of her thighs. It was too much and not enough.

"Relax, Myka. Forget where you are. Forget what's going on. Just feel." Helena pushed the toy firmly inside Myka once more and stilled. She watched as Myka chewed on her lip in frustration. Helena could tell Myka was past the point where teasing was unacceptable. She needed relief. Twisting the vibrator, she swiveled it inside Myka so that the end of it pressed along her insides in circles. She was rewarded with a long throaty groan.

Myka tried to roll onto her back, but Helena kept her still. She let out a frustrated whimper, but was quickly distracted when Helena changed directions inside her. "Need more," Myka managed to gasp. She knew the sway of her hips spoke volumes, but she was desperate. "Please," she whimpered, near tears.

"Oh Myka," Helena said, apologetically, "You don't have to beg." She turned the vibrator's speed higher and left it inside. "Alright darling," she said, preparing the other woman for her next moves.

Pleasing Myka's body wasn't enough, she needed to get back inside her head and break down the walls Myka constantly hid behind. Fingers locking around the smaller toy, she turned it on and was shocked by its speed. If she used that just yet, Myka would be oversensitive long before she'd finished. Turning the switch, she decided to use it off first.

Myka instantly missed Helena's hand on her. She hadn't been touching her intimately exactly, but there was something very different about the toy in her by itself and when the other woman was manipulating it. Without Helena's interaction, she felt very empty and alone.

It was unsettling and she needed to distract herself before she panicked. Without thinking, she grabbed Helena's left hand and pulled it towards her mouth. Kissing the palm softly, she nuzzled against the soft skin working her lips towards the other woman's fingers.

Helena's breath caught in her throat, as she felt Myka's lips upon her skin. Myka would no doubt be the undoing of her. Closing her eyes briefly, she basked in the warm wet heat surrounding her index finger. "Myka," she breathily spoke, but couldn't find the strength to push the younger woman away.

Hearing the hesitancy in Helena's tone, Myka slipped her fingers around the other woman's wrist holding her still. She could feel Helena's hand tremble and for the first time since they started she didn't let her own insecurities scare her away. She couldn't do this and not feel some sort of human connection. She needed Helena as a person, not just someone manipulating her body. Like Claudia said, if it was that simple she would have been able to take care of this whole thing by herself.

Helena stroked Myka's hair for a moment softly, trying to explain that she wasn't upset. Her hand travelled down to Myka's stomach and she let her fingers trail along the other woman's skin freely. Pushing Myka's shirt up just to under her breasts, she explored. "Myka, my dear sweet girl, I haven't made this very easy for you have I?" She felt Myka begin to pull her finger out of her mouth, but slid a second one between her lips instead. "Shh, don't try to argue."

Myka focused on Helena's words, absorbing them. The other woman had frightened her before with how clearly she had gotten inside her head, but perhaps that was exactly what she needed. Helena's body language changed and Myka could tell instantly that she had switched gears once more.

Helena swallowed hard and prayed that Myka would be able to forgive her for what she was about to do. "How long has it been since you've let someone enjoy you Myka? Months? Years?" She grabbed the other second toy and slid it down Myka's stomach towards her center. Slipping her hand once more between the other woman's legs, she traced up and down both thighs teasingly. "How long since you've let someone in?" she let the last word linger on her tongue, the double meaning sinking into Myka's mind.

Helena spotted the blush on Myka's cheeks and knew she was getting somewhere. "It's been too long hasn't it?" She moved the toy towards Myka's clit and began to tap against it slowly. "…And more than that, you've probably never let anyone in past those walls you've so carefully crafted. Have you?"

Myka opened her eyes, needing to ground herself for a moment. Helena was tapping into uncharted grounds. She felt Helena rub her thumb against her lower stomach encouragingly, giving her a moment to recover. She felt her stomach drop at the simple gesture and began to tremble.

"Myka," Helena said, seriously. She needed Myka to stay focused and not get lost in her own thoughts. She couldn't help but feel like they were walking a tightrope together. One false move and they would be falling with no way to catch themselves. "Stay with me darling," she urged softer.

Myka nodded her thanks and once more closed her eyes. She gently slid Helena's finger from her mouth and entwined her own with them. "Never," she whispered, answering the previous question. After a moment's hesitation, she added, "But I want to."

"You shouldn't be afraid to feel things Myka, to experience them." She continued to tap softly and sporadically against Myka's clit, letting her words handle the actual seduction. "Still, feeling things isn't all of it, is it? What won't you let yourself admit?"

Myka scrunched her eyes up in an irrational attempt to block Helena out. Self-doubt was something she was far too familiar with. Her body stiffened and her hips stilled. She could feel her breath speeding up into short pants and tried to focus on slowing it. Myka shook her head, struggling to speak, "I can't."

"I'm not giving you any choice darling," Helena said, apologetically. Giving up was not an option, she would not lose Myka over this, even if that meant losing her friendship.

"It's the only control I have left," Myka begged, turning slightly to face the other woman. Her whole life she had struggled with keeping people at arm's length. Even when she had been with Sam, she hadn't opened herself up to him fully. Helena was asking too much.

"It's just us, Myka," Helena promised. Her movements stumbled into a steady rhythm and she could feel the younger woman relaxing against her. "I'm not here to judge. I just want to help you." Myka started to turn towards her, but Helena held her firmly. "No," she whispered, not bothering to explain. How could she?

Helena was not prepared to face the look of utter betrayal in Myka's eyes. Myka tried to turn once more, but she held her closer. She kissed her shoulder, trying to lessen the blow. "What else are you hiding from? What scares you Myka? Feeling things scares you, but not nearly as much as the idea that you might not feel anything at all." She dragged her teeth against the exposed flesh along Myka's shoulder and neck, trying to keep Myka distracted enough to not over analyze things.

Myka didn't try to struggle this time. She laid still, eyes closed, unsure of how to react to the words. They were true, but she felt safe. Something clicked inside her and she felt like her whole world just fell into place. If she was to let anyone in, shouldn't it be someone that understood? Someone that could read her better than people who'd known her on a daily basis for months.

Helena slid her left hand down the front of Myka's shirt and groped the flesh there softly. "You're terrified that if you let anyone in you'll realize you're not quite as normal as the rest of them. You're afraid of the implications of that aren't you darling? Afraid that if you don't feel anything then there must be something wrong with you. Maybe that you're not even lovable? Is that it Myka? Are you afraid that if you let them love you you'll fail somehow?"

Myka's tears began to flow and she nodded. She didn't even bother to try to hide her emotions. They were beyond that now. Her body was screaming for release and her mind was screaming in fear. Combined with Helena's gentle groping's and the toy pressed deep inside her, she was nearly over the edge.

"You just need someone to take you. Not give you a choice in the matter. Visit all those dark corners of your mind and show you exactly how truly lovable you are." Helena rolled her nipple softly between her fingers and breathed in against Myka's neck. She turned the second toy on and pressed it against her firmly. She caught Myka up in her grasp, as the other woman nearly jumped off the bed.

Myka gritted her teeth as her hips jerked in reaction. She tried to stifle groan after groan to no avail. Helena was drawing things from both her mind and body in an intoxicating pace. One hand grasped at the one on her chest and the other wrapped behind her holding on to Helena's hip.

"But that's still not all, is it darling? The truth of it is, the truth you so desperately hide from, is that when it's my name that comes tumbling through your lips as I push you over the edge for all to hear…they will finally know: You belong to me."

The truth of it all struck something deep in Myka and before she could stop herself, Helena's name had come and gone. Trembling into an oblivion that was full of nothing except the feelings inside her, she attempted to turn herself into Helena's arms.

She desperately needed something to ground her. "Helena," she whimpered, curling in on herself. It was too much and not enough all wrapped up in a drunken haze that was ever so slowly lifting "Need you," she managed, before her emotions gave way.

Helena turned off the first toy. Then, with a flick of her wrist, she turned off the vibrator still buzzing inside Myka, but did not make to remove it. Instead, she left it where it was and drew the other woman into her arms. "I've got you," she promised, kissing Myka's forehead, rocking her as best she could in their position.

She could feel the jolts of the aftershocks coursing through the younger woman, but there was something else. Myka was doing everything she could to hold in her tears. The reality crushed Helena. She stiffened slightly, but didn't relinquish her hold. Just a few moments longer, she told herself.

Myka could feel Helena's tension, but she couldn't find the strength to let go. If this were the end, she would cling until Helena pushed her away. She cried softly until her body calmed. Giving into the exhaustion, she nuzzled closer. She was nearly asleep when the door slammed open.

"I tried to tell him to wait. We heard yelling," Pete said, trying to explain Artie's sudden intrusion. The older man scowled at Claudia, who was pulling headphones quickly from her ears.

"Everything's all good," she tried to explain, knowing it would be useless.

Myka tried to bury herself further into Helena's grasp. She wasn't ready to deal with reality yet. She could feel the room surveying her for damage or any sense of normality, but she just wanted Helena.

"You should let your friend's see that you're okay, darling, and then get some rest," Helena whispered, gracefully pulling the toy out in one swift movement and leaving the rest of the room none the wiser.

"Don't go," Myka pleaded, forgetting all about her plan to keep her emotions bottled. "Please," she whispered, brokenly.

Helena hesitated, Myka's gaze nearly breaking her resolve. "I only want what's best for you. Right now, you need rest. You need time to adjust and time to process. I won't go far, but you won't be honest with yourself if I'm here. It will be difficult enough to deal with as it is. You cannot worry about my feelings or emotions in all this Myka. Please try to understand."

Myka could feel herself shutting down. She had done it enough with her parents to recognize the technique. It was all about survival. She couldn't handle the rejection that she was so sure Helena was trying to gracefully skirt around. Helena had done her part; she had saved her. The rest was just awkward. She met the older woman's questioning gaze and nodded. "Alright, go on then," she said, nodding towards the door. If she stayed stoic she might be able to convince herself she didn't give a damn.

Helena couldn't handle the intensity of Myka's gaze. It was cold, angry, and violated. She placed a chaste kiss against Myka's cheek and swore she could feel the other woman's breathe catch. Shoving the toys carelessly under the mattress, she made her retreat. Helena didn't acknowledge anyone or meet their gazes; she just headed to her room and shut herself away.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry this took so long, I suck I know. I had planned on there being a longer period of awkwardness between them, but I haven't had much luck with fanfiction lately. I wanted to give this some sort of finality rather than wait forever to finish it. I hope it's not a total disappointment. Thank you to everyone who kept hounding me to finish this piece. I'm sorry it took so long.

XXXXXX

"Out, now," Myka said, glaring at Artie. If only he hadn't forced his way in, maybe she and Helena could have talked. They might have had just a few more moments. This was not what she had expected at all.

"Myka, I just wanted-" Artie tried to explain.

Myka shook her head no, sucking her lips into her mouth and pulling to the right. "It doesn't matter. I need to be by myself. Please, I can't talk about this yet," she said, eyes brimming with emotion.

The truth was that it wasn't talking about it at all she couldn't face. She wasn't ready to face Helena's rejection, especially with a roomful of onlookers. She needed to process everything that had happened and she needed to catch her breath.

Artie nodded silently and left right away. Pete followed next with a worried, but understanding glance. "We're here for you Mykes," he said, "No one's judging."

"You might not be Pete, but we all know how Artie feels," she said, sadly. She felt her pulse starting to slow, but she was still too worked up to really calm down. She was still throbbing, as her body hummed through the aftershocks of one of the most powerful orgasms she'd ever had.

"Claudia," she called to the younger woman before she could leave.

Claudia turned to look at her, worry and fear in her eyes. She had tried to stay out of the way and she didn't think Myka would have picked any other scenario to take care of things, but a small part of her still worried that she'd get blamed for not standing up.

Myka shook her head no. "Stop it, you did the right thing. Thank you," she made sure the other woman really believed her before she nodded towards the door. It was good to see the relief wash over Claudia's features, calming in its own way. If only she and Helena, could find similar relief.

Myka sat on her bed hugging a pillow to her stomach. Finally having caught her breath, the throbbing of body began to settle to a dull ache between her legs. She let her mind wander over the situation at hand. Helena, was all she could think of.

She knew the other woman had left and locked herself in her room. It was just her way. She would avoid the others and maybe even Myka until the discomfort passed or they were forced back to work.

Myka winced as she truly accepted that Helena would be ignoring her as well. There had always been some unspoken comfort between them, Myka being allowed to slip into Helena's walls when no one else was. That would change now.

Myka knew what Helena had said was true, but it didn't take the sting of her departure away. She couldn't help it. Approval was something she sought, especially from those who were important to her.

Thinking over her own emotions, she considered how things could play out. She was embarrassed, but she didn't feel any resent towards the other woman. As far as she was concerned, she was not violated by anyone. If she were to blame anything, it would be that damn artifact. All she knew was she didn't want to lose Helena as a friend.

The best thing to do to prevent any discomfort or misunderstandings was to go right over there and talk to her. They needed to clear the air and she didn't need any more time to process what she already knew. Helena was important and she was not going to give up their friendship over something so uncontrollable.

Looking at her own door with longing her resolve solidified. They would talk- just them, not the whole household with opinions and judgments. She knew she was being too hard on the others, but none of them understood. Well, maybe Claudia did.

Myka quickly made her way next door and knocked on the door. There was no answer. She knew Helena was in there and probably avoiding her, but she had managed to gather the courage to face this and she needed to do it while that courage lasted. "Please, Helena," she asked, loud enough that the other woman could not possibly claim she hadn't heard.

She heard the lock turn and there was a moment's hesitation, but finally the door opened. Myka's heart went out to Helena the moment she saw her. The other woman had obviously been crying and she refused to meet Myka's gaze. "I need to talk to you," she said, motioning towards the inside of the room.

Helena sniffed and nodded, shuffling back a few steps to let Myka enter. "How are you feeling?" she asked, honestly concerned. Her voice cracked slightly and she swallowed hard trying to erase the scratchiness the tears had left her with.

"Emotionally or physically?" Myka asked, her tone voicing her confusion with the whole thing. She moved towards the chairs Helena had set up by the bookcase, but changed her mind. Myka curled up on the edge of the bed and drew her knees up under her chin.

"Either? Both? I just want to know you're okay," Helena said, not voicing that she also wanted to know they were okay. "May I?" she asked, pointing towards the spot next to Myka.

"Really?" Myka said, sarcasm easing the tension, "You're going to ask me if you can set next to me in your own room after _today_?" She laughed gently, but somewhat embarrassed and looked away.

Helena sat down next to her, leaving a fair amount of space in between them. "Myka," she said, desperation in her tone, "I would never, _never_, willingly put you in a position that I wasn't sure you were comfortable with."

She began to fidget with the hem of her shirt, trying to find the words to apologize for all that had happened. "I'm truly sorry if you feel violated or manipulated in any way," she said, looking up into Myka's eyes, willing the younger woman to understand.

"You-" Myka hesitated, suddenly feeling incredibly foolish about the whole thing, "You think I'm upset about what happened? You saved me, Helena. More than that, you showed me what I have been denying myself. I couldn't have asked for anything better."

Helena stood up and began to pace the room agitated. "Don't you see? You didn't get to ask for anything at all. You didn't have a choice Myka. I took that away from you."

Myka stood up and grabbed the other woman by the arms. "Helena stop. You listen to me, because this is the only thing you know. The only thing that scared me about that situation was the idea of losing you over this. The artifacts influence didn't release just because you got into my head."

Helena looked up at Myka's confession with confusion and a small amount of hope. "It didn't?" She bit her nip nervously as Myka smiled warmly at her.

"The other reason, the reason I was so worried about you hating me, it's because it was you. I wanted it to be you. I wanted to know what it was like to feel you against me, to hear your breath in my ear, to understand what it would be like to be loved by you." She wanted to drop her gaze, but knew Helena needed to see the determination in her eyes.

She could tell Helena was processing what she said, but the quiet was making her nervous so she continued her tirade. "I know you care about me. I know you wanted what was best. There was no one I would have trusted more with that situation. You want to forget it? Fine, but I am not going to lose our friendship over this. I care too much about you."

"Myka," Helena said, shaking her head smiling, "My beautiful, sweet, loving, stupid girl." She ran her fingers against the other woman's cheek, catching her jaw in her palm. "What we shared in your bed, was something truly special. I don't care if an artifact was involved, that is not a memory I would ever want to forget. You are so special to me and really darling, I'm starting to fear I'm losing my touch."

Myka crinkled her brow in confusion. Surely her reaction to Helena's touch had been more than clear. "What do you mean?" She was becoming self-conscious again, it always happened when she felt like she wasn't catching on to something those around her already knew.

Helena sighed, realizing what had been going on between them that afternoon. "I'm afraid that our need to worry about each other's comfort has led to some complete errors in communication. So, let me put things rather forwardly: I have been flirting with you for months. I have been enthralled by you since the moment we met and there is no one left on this earth that I care about more than you. Darling, how do you not know that I've been in love with you for a very long time now?"

"With me?" Myka squeaked out, sure she was imagining what the other woman was saying. It didn't help that she was exhausted, both physically and mentally, beyond what she was used to. She really should have rested before trying to take all this on.

Helena smiled and reached for Myka's hand. "Yes darling with you." She leaned forward and kissed Myka's slightly parted lips until the younger woman finally seemed to catch up. "Now, I do believe we were robbed of some very important post-coital cuddling." She tugged Myka towards her bed, delighted by the blush her friend showed.

Helena slid into the bed first, opening her arms and the covers for Myka to slide into. "Come here darling," she coaxed, wanting nothing more than to hold Myka close until she was fully rested. "You look like you could use this very much."

Myka let out a small whimper as she felt her eyes fill with tears. She nodded at Helena and curled up against the older woman, hanging on to her tightly. She knew it was irrational, but a part of her felt like there was no way this moment could last. That there was no way it was even real.

"You're safe Myka," Helena promised, gently stroking her fingers through the other woman's hair. She felt Myka hug her a little tighter and realized that wasn't the only worry. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Helena?" Myka questioned, looking up at the older woman with a tired blissful look.

Helena gave her a warning look, not wanting Myka to worry about anything right now. "What is it?"

Myka grinned and closed her eyes nuzzling into the crook of the inventor's shoulder. "Love you," she murmured, allowing herself to finally relax. Truly exhausted she was asleep before Helena even murmured that she loved Myka as well. 

Smiling at the sleeping woman, Helena arranged the covers over them, kissed her partner on the forehead, and drifted to sleep as well.


End file.
